Through the Looking Glass: Acceptance is the (Sometimes Reluctant) Key

I've kept quiet on the COVID-19 pandemic, mainly because I've been trying to wrap my head around it. What started out as a blip on the radar 30 days ago now has me quietly googling "how to make a homemade face mask" and, despite a tough exterior, secretly analyzing every tickle in my throat for something more sinister.

Fortunately--or unfortunately--it’s also driven me even further into my obsession with dissecting the good, bad and ugly of human behavior. I’ve watched friends rally to distribute protective equipment; I’ve seen big messages of hope splattered across social media and dropped right onto my doorstep; I’ve witnessed fathers and daughters sing, and neighbors offer to shop for one other. I’ve also seen petty disputes (a neighbor up in arms about someone hanging a beautiful sign that said “Hope” from his tree), and corporate greed so thick that it would rather put its workers in deadly danger than stop the supply chain for a short time. I could go on and on, as I’m sure you could, too. My stories are not unique.

It's also made me lean in to analyze my own behavior, a rather messy job. It’s so much easier to judge what you’re doing for yourself and others instead of asking myself what I’m doing. It’s so much more fun to think that you’re a real jackass than to find out I’m a jackass sometimes, too. It’s easier--especially during times of crises--to take your inventory rather than take a deep-dive into my own shortcomings. Ugh.

Somewhere in all of this I remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. When my expectations are too high, which is usually always, I drive myself nuts. When I let go and accept what is, my sanity returns and for a second I know peace. Acceptance is the key.

When I accept what is, I can ask myself more productive questions like: What can I do today to give to the stream of life instead of steal from it? I’m reminded that my actions don’t have to change the world. They can be simple. I can bite my tongue instead of reacting too quickly. I can text an old friend to let them know I’m thinking of them. I can refuse to buy in to the panic. I can remember that when people act in crazy ways (me included), it can generally be traced back to some sort of fear. I can tap into empathy instead of judging you.

Wherever you are amidst this international pandemic, I hope we can both accept what is today (it doesn’t mean we have to like it).

Remember:

1. You are enough

2. Give yourself a break

3. Throw out your to-do list

4. Do the next right thing

5. Practice a random act of kindness—and don’t tell anyone.

6. P.S. I love you